Poppy Payne IS The Sexy Techie!

Technical Help and Opinions on Just About Everything Else!

Elevator Ghost Girl

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Oh, you silly Brazilians! A Brazilian variety show, “Programa Silvo Santos”, has taken the old Candid Camera thingy to an all new high (or low, depending on how you look at things). Now personally, I found this to be hysterically funny! At the same time, I’m glad that no one on the receiving end of the prank had a heart condition or a violent reaction. There is no doubt, however, that this clip has gone viral and extremely quickly. When this video hit the Internet, it had over 1,000,000 views in the first 48 hours! Eat shit, Justin Bieber! Lol!

Tell me if you think this is taking pranks too far or should people chill out a bit? Watch the whole thing… They prank 6 or 7 people in the clip and the best, as far as I am concerned, is last one, the bloke with the backpack. Have fun!

Veterans Day 2012

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Veterans Day 2012Today, November 11th, we take the time to honour those who have served in the Armed Forces of the United States. For those still under deployment, come home safely. For those who have returned home, may you and your families find peace, health and prosperity. For those who will never return home, may your loved ones find peace and may God watch over you and them. All gave some… Some gave all… Thank you. You are not forgotten.

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

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Queen Elizabeth IITo the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

Keep Calm1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

Royal Coat of Arms of the United Kingdom4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

Union Jack

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat and dressed not with catsup, but with vinegar.

Royal Smile9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is, pound for pound, the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth, so you can see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as ‘Near-Frozen Horse Urine’, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. What you insist upon calling ‘Football’ will forever more be referred to as a ‘Vaguely Rugby-Like Activity’. You may use the term ‘Football’ only when referring to what you now call ‘Soccer.’

God Save the Queen.

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