Poppy Payne IS The Sexy Techie!

Technical Help and Opinions on Just About Everything Else!

Clowns ARE Evil!

no comment

Killer KlownsClowns are evil. This should come as absolutely no surprise to those of you who know me. I know some of you think me a bit mental for thinking this, but after exhaustive research (well, ok, I sorta tripped over an article on Anorak whilst looking to see if there were any new photos of nude Royals…), I now have documented proof! It seems that back in 1854, a thirteen and a half year old lad named William Snyder was gruesomely murdered by an evil circus clown who had picked him up and swung him around by his heels.

William Snyder Obit

The obit is sparse and all we know is that William was killed by a circus clown and either died or was buried on January 11th, 1854. He was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and died in San Francisco, California. Tim Curry ITFor those of you who are not aware, those cities are separated by some 2000 miles of land, mountains and canyons. Not exactly a day trip in 1854. The only way to get there was by horse drawn wagon and we all remember how well the winter of 1846 went for the Donner Party, don’t we?

Was William an audience member or one of the performers? In 1854, I would say it more likely he had run away from home to join the circus. Or perhaps he traveled out there with his family in ’49 when they decided to join the gold rush. We will never know. All I can say is stay the fuck away from clowns! Stephen King had it right!

Kim Kardashian tits and pussyIf you’ve read this far, I have a special bonus for you which I thought might help us get over our fear of clowns. Have you ever wanted to see what a clown looks like naked? If they were nude, one might assume they would be less scary and help us desensitize ourselves from coulrophobia, right? Sorry. Seems that it didn’t work. This clown, completely nude, is still pretty fucking scary!

Love ya all!

Poppy xxxxxx

Homer Simpson! Is That You?

no comment

Homer SimpsonHomer Simpson. An iconic character is there ever was one. I have no doubt (which means I do not have any figures to back up my opinion) that most, if not all, people who have ever watched the telly know what Homer Simpson looks like. He was created by Matt Groening in 1987 and made his first appearance on The Tracy Ellman Show on April 19th, 1987. The rest, as they say, is history. Or is it?

Tracy Ullman ShowOn October 19th, Anorak posted a cartoon that appeared in a 1949 Icelandic magazine where the subject of the cartoon that bears more than a striking resemblance to our beloved Homer Simpson… Take a look at the cartoon and you decide. By the way, the caption is in Icelandic, but just so you understand the cartoon, the translation of “Oxin Beit of Vel” is “The Axe Bit Too Well”. Before anyone questions my sense of humour, I’m blogging about this cartoon because of the resemblance to Homer Simpson and not because I found it be particularly funny, as it really isn’t. Maybe you had to live in 1949 Iceland…

Homer Simpson Iceland

Looks like what’s old is new again!

Love to all, Poppy xxxxxxxxx

Random Thoughts Of The Day – Oct 2012

no comment

bomb techHere are some Random Thoughts of the Day I ran across some time ago… Not all are mine, but I agree with them!

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

4. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with by rubbing two sticks together when they’ve already invented the lighter?

Love You Naked5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning around and walking back the way you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area will think you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

6. Nickelback. ‘Nuff said.

7. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

8. The letters “T” and “G” are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never again end a work email with the word “Regards”.

9. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the world did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

etch-a-sketch10. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

11. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.

12. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

13. The other night I hit a new low at a bar. I was well on my way to “Blackout City” when, inevitably, I had to find the bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a chick coming the other way. We played that ‘both go left, both go right’ game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past her and that’s when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the chick on the other side is me. Hell, even cats can recognize their own image!

14. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

15. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

16. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately reformat your computer hard drives if you die.

I'd do you17. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

18. Was learning cursive really necessary?

19. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

21. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, I’m imaginary smart”.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Godzilla”

24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

Random hot girl25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…

26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

29. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

30. Bad decisions make good stories.

31. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

32. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

Undress me33. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

34. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

35. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

36. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection. Again.

37. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Star Trek Bridge38. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page document that I swear I did not make any changes to.

39. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this. Ever.

40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

41. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and UK. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

42. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Dog shit43. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

44. When I go out with someone the seond time, I’m terrified of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but that I learned from some light internet stalking.

45. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

46. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

47. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

49. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my cellphone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Nipples50. I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition while away at university.

51. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Tequila than Kay.

Give you any ideas?

55. The other night I ordered takeout and when I looked in the bag, they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat fuck before dinner.

Feel free to use these yourself!

Love ya! Poppy xxxxxxxxxx

Pic Of The Day Oct 4, 2012

no comment

Hi! I saw this photo on the internet and sooo many jokes ran through my head along the lines of ‘Blowing through traffic!”.. Heh, heh…. Maybe you can come up with something even more witty!

Love ya, Poppy xxxxxxxxxxxx

Time to Deliver!

Please support our advertisers

Disclaimer: This website is hosted on and is an affiliate for HostGator and receives payment for new business gained thru this link.
Visit My Sex Toy Store!

Search by Category

Translate this page

Chinese (Traditional)EnglishFrenchGermanItalianJapaneseRussianSpanish

More Pages

Poppy’s Blog Archive

Recent Search Terms

My Favourite Links

  • <br>Visit My Favourite Sex Toy Store!