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People Watching

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Schiphol AirportI like people watching. You never know what they’re going to do and they are usually funny without meaning to be. Here’s a few choice gems. There I was at 6am, sitting in a bar (yeah, I know…) at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam waiting for my flight home and it just so happened that right next to where I was siting was a smoking lounge, which is a glass room with an automatic sliding door and what sounds like an enormous ventilation system.

Luggage TrolleyOne thing that is very popular in airports in Europe are these little mini trolleys that people use to wheel their baggage around. I’ve seen trolleys loaded up with what appears to be everything the person owns and I’ve seen people pushing trolleys with nothing more than a purse in the basket. Anyway, these two 20-somethiong Chinese lads come walking up the smoking room, each of them pushing a trolley with a backpack in the basket. Schiphol Airport AmsterdamI found it amusing enough that each of their backpacks were about half the size of mine that I carry around on my shoulder. When they get to the room, they take their backpacks in with them (smart thing to do, actually) and leave their trolleys outside. A few minutes later, they reappear, each one wearing their backpack. They then grab their respective trolleys and go marching off through the airport wearing the backpacks and pushing empty trolleys!

Schiphol shopping 1A few minutes later, a couple in their sixties stroll up to the smoking room. They had to be married. Why, you ask? Two reasons. First, they were wearing matching outfits. Same shirts, jackets, trousers, sneakers… The same. So either they were married or they’re a set of really weird twins whose mum dressed them alike as kids and damned them to years of therapy that ain’t working! Now here comes the zinger. They had identical rolling suitcases, only his was baby blue and hers was hot pink! How much would you like to bet she bought them and he hates them?

Schiphol shopping 2Yes, people tend to do inexplicable things. Take this one as an example. There is a second level at Schiphol with a couple of restaurants. One level up. Not very far. They have an lift (elevator for you Yanks) which looks to hold around 12 to 15 people at a time. At any given time, there will be 20 or so people waiting for the lift to come back down to the lower level so they can go up. Ok, so perhaps they are too tired to take the stairs which are right next to the elevator. But why the hell don’t they walk 10 feet further and take the bloody escalator? It goes all the way up and you don’t have to wait for it!

36dd'sI had to visit the ladies room and while in there I decided to whip out me tits and take a quick pic in the mirror. After all, I haven’t been topless in Amsterdam since I… Actually, that is a story for a different time! Putting the girls away, I wander around a bit window shopping (Being at Schiphol is like landing at a mall!) and sit down next to one of the massage centers so I can check my email. The following will be easier to understand if I tell you first that the massage center has tanks with certain species of fish that eat the dead skin off your feet while you sit in a chair with your feet immersed in the water.

Here goes. A woman sits down next to me and strikes up a conversation:

Her: “Oh, my. That’s illegal!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Her: “Those tanks over there with the fish where you sit down and put your feet in them. Those are illegal.”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Her: “It is where I’m from in the United States!”
Me: “Well, ma’am, you don’t happen to be in the United States at the moment. Here, it is perfectly legal.”
Her: “Oh. Do you live here? You speak English so well!”
Me: “That may be because I was born and raised in England. I’m not Dutch, I’m British.”
Her: “Oh! And here I thought you were a foreigner!”

That’s when I decided to go back to the bar.

Love ya all!

Poppy xxxxxxx

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