Poppy Payne IS The Sexy Techie!

Technical Help and Opinions on Just About Everything Else!

Man Hires Hooker – His Own Daughter!

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zimbabwe prostituteLooking for a good time? Need a prostitute? Trying to decide whether to cum or go? Why not keep it all in the family and throw some money your daughter’s way? Ok, that’s not entirely fair. While Mr. Titus Ncube DID engage his own 20 year old daughter to play a game of “Hide The Sausage”, he didn’t know it was his daughter until she showed up at his Bulawayo hotel room. (That’s in Zimbabwe…). Talk about awkward situations. Not only didn’t he get his rocks off, (as far as we know, anyway) he then had to try and put a positive spin on the whole thing to his wife. He claims to have hired a therapist for his daughter and says she is going back to school and is no longer turning tricks. Mr. Ncube also said he is trying to reconcile with his wife.

Let’s see… He hires a hooker and finds out it’s his daughter… He then takes the moral high ground for saving a wanton woman from a life of prostitution. Ever the noble soul, he has forgiven her “for being a commercial sex worker”.

Charlie Sheen on ProstitutesAnd his bloody wife is sticking by him, saying she would have divorced him long ago but is staying with him because divorce is traumatic for the children. Traumatic for the children? You mean your 20 year old ADULT daughter may have made a worse career choice had you divorced the bastard?

Let me espouse for a bit about prostitution. I have absolutely no issues with a woman (or a man, for that matter) who decides to provide sexual favours in exchange for money. The key word here is ‘decides’.. Not forced into, not abused into, not drugged into… Commercial sex should be legalized, regulated, inspected and yes, even taxed!

Drop me a line and let me know what you think!

Love, Poppy xxxxxx

Pic of Whenever I Get Around To Posting One!

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Bear Cub - Not A Good IdeaHey, gang… This is a prime example of an epic FAIL! This guy is in for a world of pain. I can guess exactly what he was saying: “Hey! Guys! Look at what I found! Guys? Guys??” Lol!

Love to all!! Poppy xxxxx

Is Your Laptop Overheating?

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Overheated Laptop Frying an EggOverheated laptops. And no, I’m not talking about being uber-horny. At least, not right now! Laptop computers contain just about everything a full sized desktop computer does in a package that is, generously speaking, 10% of the size. When laptops were first introduced, heat generation was a huge issue. So huge, in fact, that such things as CPU speed, disk size and memory size were purposefully limited to reduce heat generation. And the units were heavy because they had steel chassis/frames to help with the heat dissipation.

Nowadays, we have light weight, plastic framed laptops that outperform many desktop units with 3.0Ghz i7 processors, 8GB of memory, 500GB hi-speed disk drives (some with two of them!), 9 cell battery packs and 17 inch monitors. But what about the heat? Laptops are equipped with copper heat tubes or bars that conduct heat away from the CPU, memory & disc drives toward the cooling fans where it is pushed out of the laptop through vents. Cooling Pad to Prevent Your Laptop From OverheatingFirst problem? The vents are usually on the bottom on the laptop where they are all to easy to block and you end up with an overheated laptop. One way to keep your laptop cool is to buy a laptop cooling pad that is equipped with fans or contains a heat absorbing gel compound. They actually do work, but it does give you one thing to carry around with you. Not to mention that it doesn’t address the root causes of overheating.

When I got a new laptop two years ago, it was a chilly wintery day. So there I am, all chuffed about my brand new toy that of course, I had named Hal. That’s right, Sir Arthur C. Clarke, Hal. I curled up on the couch under a quilt and lovingly lifted Hal’s lid until it was fully erect. Hmmmm… My mind does wander in certain directions, doesn’t it?

After awhile, I got up to open a bottle of wine so without thinking, I put Hal down on the couch on top of the quilt. Big mistake. I couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes to get a glass, open the bottle and return to the couch. I sat down, picked up Hal and OMFG, the laptop was hot to the touch! Not warm, mind you, but actually hot. I immediately saved my work, shut it down and put it down on the coffee table to cool off. They explicitly tell you in the setup guide and the owners manual to never put the laptop down on soft surfaces like a pillow, carpeting, bedding or a cushion, and they tell us this with good reason. I guess a quilt falls quite neatly under the category of ‘bedding’.

Blocked Laptop VentIn addition to my addled brained activity, there are other ways for your laptop to overheat. Remember those vents I mentioned? They can easily become blocked with dust, animal hair, spider webs and what have you. Make it a point to regularly blow them out with a can of compressed, but mind you, all that will do is move the dust around inside the laptop. Eventually, you will need to remove the bottom cover and blow it out from the inside.

Don’t override the power management settings unless you really need to do so, such as you’re using your laptop to show a presentation and you don’t want your screen dimming. The power settings are designed to reduce power consumption during times of low activity (even when connected to the power mains) and thereby reduce heat generation.

Ultimate Laptop OverheatingUnplug any USB devices if you don’t need them. They all draw power from the laptop whether you’re using them or not and power consumption = heat generation.

Perhaps most important of all, please, please, please… Don’t use your laptop for any length of time on your, er, well, lap… Although you wouldn’t know it from the name, laptops were NOT engineered to actually be used on your lap! Thank you, bastard marketing people wankers! All of the heat transfer is through the bottom of the machine and they have caused 2nd degree burns to people’s thighs. And yes, laptops have actually caught fire and melted. So make sure if you hear the fans running full speed all the time or your laptop feels warmer than usual, check your vents before something really nasty happens!

Till next time,

Love Poppy xxxxx

Happy Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving!I’d like to wish a very Happy Thanksgiving to all! Being from the UK, Thanksgiving was for me, at least initially, a foreign concept. We don’t really have a celebration akin to the American Thanksgiving… Our biggest holiday feast for the gathering of family and friends is Christmas Dinner… We do have a quasi-holiday with fireworks each November 5th, however, to celebrate the fact that some guy in 1605 tried to blow up our Government! Guy Fawkes, to be exact. How’s that for a reason to party?? As an aside, the almost-explosive adventure of Guy Fawkes was the sub plot of, and Guy Fawkes masks were prominently displayed in, the 2006 movie “V is for Vendetta”.

Happy Thanksgiving from Mr. BeanBut I digress! Once again, have a Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy all of the traditions you’ve come to love, whether it be serving a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, watching that silly series of sporting competitions you Yanks STILL mistakenly insist on calling football, wearing your turkey on your head or heading out to a shopping mall at midnight tonight due to some obsessive need to suffer sleep deprivation while participating in a near riot in order to save money… Only kidding! I would be there as well if it weren’t for the fact that large, noisy, pushing crowds totally freak me out!

Monica's Happy Thanksgiving Turkey Head!I’ve got the turkey in the oven, the side dishes are all prepared, my world renowned pumpkin soup is simmering on the stove, the pies are in fridge and all is right with the world, at least at Chez’ Poppy. If you’d like my recipe for pumpkin soup, send me an email and I’ll be happy to provide it!

Enjoy your holiday, America! As for my wish at this, the traditional beginning of the holiday season, may all of our valiant troops, (American, British, Aussie and all other participating allied nations) come home soon safe and sound and be reunited with their families, who miss them and love them very much.

Love to all, Poppy xxxxxx

BSOD

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BSOD T-shirt
We’ve all gotten the dreaded Blue Screen Of Death, or BSOD, from time to time. Usually after installing quirky software or updating with a dodgy driver. Or sometimes, a piece of hardware (memory, for example) simply decides to go tits up! And it always seems to happen when you need your PC the most, with a looming deadline. Since the BSOD contains the exact information you need to figure out what went wrong and 99.9% of the systems have their BIOS settings default to auto-restart (resulting in the BSOD being displayed for a few short seconds), you have two choices how to find out what happened and what to do about it.

You can modify your BIOS settings so it will not automatically restart after serious errors. How to do this depends totally on which motherboard is in your system and which BIOS is installed. Check your reference manual that came with your system or head to the technical support page on the manufacturer’s website. After you change the setting, the next time the system BSOD’s, (and it will!), the BSOD screen will remain displayed until you physically restart your PC, allowing you write down the Stop Code (more on this later).

The Blue Screen of DEATH!That would be my choice, but some people may need their PC (or server) to restart instead of just sitting there, doing nothing, imitating Congress! If the system restarts when you aren’t staring at it, you may not know there was a problem. This is one of the reasons you should regularly check your Windows Event Log. How to do this varies from system to system, but for Windows 7, which I hope you’re all running by now, click on ‘Start’, ‘Administrative Tools’ and finally, ‘Event Viewer’. When it opens, select ‘Windows Logs’ and then ‘System’. There will be a lot of entries as Windows records everything that happens, good or bad, so you may want to filter the log so that only critical events and errors appear.

Whichever way you choose, there is specific information you’ll need to write down so you can stick it into Google. There are many sites with lists of the Stop Codes, but almost all of the ones I looked at when writing this blog were woefully incomplete, severely out of date or just plain wrong. So Google the Stop Code itself.

What do Stop Codes look like? I’m glad you asked! In my experience, the single most common Stop Code is the dreaded ‘STOP CODE 0x0000000A: IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL’. This is most commonly the result of you having recently updated a driver, installed new hardware/software, or one of three things just going wrong: Bad memory module, a flaky hard drive, or a corrupted page file. The 0xA stop code means that something was being read into memory at the request of a device driver, but the driver wouldn’t release the interrupt request (known as an IRQL) until it has the data it wants and the read could not be done until the interrupt is released. Welcome to deadlock!

Another indicator of a bad driver is that if you boot into Safe Mode, the BSOD does not occur. This is because Safe Mode only loads the bare minimum of drivers needed to run the Operating System. In general terms, here is how to trouble shoot your BSOD.

1. Examine the “System” and “Application” logs in Event Viewer for other recent errors that might give further clues.
2. If you’ve recently added new hardware, remove it and retest.
3. Run hardware diagnostics supplied by the device manufacturer. These are usually obtainable on their website.
4. Make sure device drivers and system BIOS are up-to-date. While you’re at it, install all of those outstanding Windows Updates. MS writes them for a reason, you know!
5. If you installed new drivers just before the problem appeared, roll them back to the older version.
6. If you recently installed new hardware, double check that it is connected correctly and all cables are tight.
7. Run a virus and a malware scan.
8. If you recently installed an application, try uninstalling it and see if the BSOD goes away. If so, check with the creator’s website and check to see if you have the latest version as well of any known issues.

Some helpful links:
Microsoft Blue Screen Errors in Windows 7

GUIDE: Windows Vista, Windows 7, Stop Errors or The Blue Screen Of Death

Have a beer and relax!I hope you never get a BSOD, but if you do, I think this write up can help you resolve your BSOD issues. They certainly can be vexing, but now that you’re armed with this information and with Google at your side, they are not insurmountable. Let me know if you have any questions or need more information. As for me, I’m gonna go check out some porn sites! Hee, hee…

Love ya, Poppy xxxxxx

FireFox 8.0

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Firefox 8.0Hi, again… Let me try and get my mind off sex for a minute (like THAT is going to work!) and concentrate on a technical issue. I also learned an Object Lesson during all this that will be presented at the end of this tome.

For the last several weeks, I have been having my pretty little ass kicked by Firefox 7.0.1. The problem would manifest it self whenever I was logged into one of my web based email accounts and started to delete files from the inbox. The files would disappear from the inbox, but the file count in the Deleted Items folder would stop incrementing. Also, I could no longer navigate anywhere on currently open tabs or newly opened ones. Frustrating. Closing Firefox and restarting it had no effect. After rebooting every time this happened I poked around a bit and found that after closing Firefox, if I went into Task Manager, Firefox was still listed as a running process. Killing the process and restarting Firefox worked. At least until the next time I attempted to delete unwanted emails.

Things I found out through Trial & Error:
1. The problem did not occur if I started Firefox in Safe Mode.
2. The hanging also did not occur when using Chrome or (yuck) IE.
3. Disabling all of my extensions and plug-ins in Firefox mostly eliminated the problem, but it still happened once in every hour or so. But I CAN’T live without my Add-Ons!

Firefox: You're Doing It WrongI was going completely bat shit! But I was determined that no piece of code was going to get the better of me! Lo and behold, yesterday, I get a pop-up message from the good people at Mozilla that Firefox was ready to upgrade to version 8.0 as soon as I restarted my browser. I am not proud to admit that right now, I am almost orgasmic as the hanging problem has not occurred once in the last 24 hours under 8.0! This is fantastic when the longest I had been able to go without Firefox 7.0.1 hanging was between 15 and 20 minutes.

Firefox IS The Tits!Now for the Object Lesson… A few minutes ago, I poked around mozilla.org and found that they have known about this issue and had developed a patch for testing by Sexy (and courageous) Techies like meself as long ago as October 5th! I have been tweaking me tits over this for a month and if I had just gone to their website in the first place, I could have avoided all the kerfuffle I went through in the second place.

So, fellow geeks, what is the very first thing we should do when having an issue with software or hardware? Go to the damn website and see if 1) they are already aware of the problem and 2) they already have a way to fix it!

Shamefacedly yours,

Poppy xxxxxxxx

Did you hear the one about the Russian historian and the 26 mummies?

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I have to admit when I first heard this story I chuckled. Alright, I laughed out loud! I mean, come on. Digging up mummified remains, carting them home and then dressing then up and decorating the flat with them! Funny, right? A news story is appearing in newspapers and on news outlets around the world detailing how the Russian police have arrested a man who was found to be living with the mummified bodies of 26 women.

Russian historian lived with 26 mummies.Armed with a shovel, Anatoly Moskvin, a 45 year old historian, systematically exhumed the dead bodies of women between 15 and 25 years of age from their graves, carted them home in a sack, dressed them in stockings, skirts, blouses, ribbons and whatnot to look like dolls (one was dressed as a teddy bear!) and then kept them in a three-room flat in the city of Nizhny Novgorod in western Russia. Mr Moskvin was said to be in the process of writing a book about the region’s graveyards and to have personally visited at least 750 of them. On at least one occasion, Moskvin is believed to have slept in a coffin while on other nights he slept on benches at cemeteries. It is believed by police that the skeletal remains came from only two local cemeteries.

Mr Moskvin was well known in the region for his fascination with local cemeteries.One problem? The flat? It wasn’t his! Mr Moskvin’s crime was unearthed by his elderly parents, who made the grisly discovery after returning home to THEIR flat from a two week holiday. I like to think at the moment they walked in, he jumped up and yelled “Surprise!!”. And I bet it was! As is typical in stories such as this, he was described as quiet and pleasant by the neighbours, who were astounded by what was going on behind closed doors. Moskin is a renowned historian, museum lecturer and journalist who speaks 13 languages and is described as a certified genius. I think ‘certified’ is the key word here. They say there is a thin line between genius and insanity and this may be a prime example of that line having been crossed!

Ok… Everybody needs a hobby, This bloke is decidedly weird, but let’s face it. Who was hurt or injured by this ‘crime’? These were all long-dead women who certainly don’t care and their loved ones who mourned them are most likely in the plot next to where they were buried. Moskvin was very particular in his choices. If, when he opened the grave the body was too ‘fresh’, instead of taking his new found friend home, he would close the grave and arrange things so that it appeared to have never been disturbed. After his arrest, Moskvin was released by the police because they had absolutely no idea what to charge him with. So far, even in Russia, it is not a crime to be weird!

Love ya!

Poppy xxxxxx

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