Poppy Payne IS The Sexy Techie!

Technical Help and Opinions on Just About Everything Else!

Put… The… Knife… Down…


Let’s face it. There are a lot of deeply disturbed people out there, boys and girls! Have you hear about the 63 year old guy in California who tried to fix his own abdominal hernia with a butter knife? I mean come on… A BUTTER KNIFE??? Those things can’t even cut butter unless you let it warm up a bit first. But this guy managed to stick it completely into his abdomen while his girlfriend called the police. (At least one of them had bought a clue..) The police called the EMTs but before the ambulance arrived, the would-be-self-surgeon removed the butter knife and tried to cauterize the wound with a lit cigarette. One brilliant idea after another, that is! He is currently in the hospital undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. DUH!

Before anyone comments, I know that isn’t a butter knife Indiana Jones is holding. But 1) have you ever tried to find a menacing photograph of someone holding a butter knife? and 2) I happen to think Harrison Ford is HOT! I’ve got a feeling if the boyfriend wears his fedora, he is gonna have a good time later tonight!

Love you all!

Poppy xxxxxx

Don’t Worry! I’m Still Here!


Long hours at work

Hi, everybody! I know I haven’t posted in a week or so, but I’ve been uberbusy with a work contract and after putting in 14-16 hour days, I haven’t had a moment of free time. You should see the HUGE pile of laundry that is patiently waiting for attention. But never fear! I plan on being back to posting on a regular basis starting tomorrow. I’ve got some great blog topic ideas, and I know you won’t be disappointed. At least I hope not!

Thanks for being patient and for your kind emails and comments. Keep them coming; I love to hear from you, and I answer each and every one personally. As always, if you have any ideas for topics, send them along.

One thing I’d love to hear about is if you’ve ever had an insane work deadline that forced you to put your personal life on hold and how you and your loved ones handled it.

Love you all!

Poppy xxxxxx

Free Ways To Speed Up Yer PC


Ever have one of those days when your PC seems as sluggish as you do before your first cup of coffee? There may be something you can do about it with just an investment if a little time.

1. If you haven’t already, uninstall all of the bloatware that came on your computer. Most manufacturers include all sorts of useless things that help defray their costs but are virtually no use to you. These include all the free trail, promotional demo applications….  Hunt them down and get rid of them!

2. Set your browser to delete its temporary internet cache when you close the application. If you don’t periodically empty out the cache, it can grow to many gigabytes in size… Nothing but wasted space. Not to mention slowing down you anti-virus scans and your backups. Ummm, you ARE doing backups. right?

Bare Ass Computing3. Not everyone has multiple physical hard drives, but if you do, move your System Page File off your system drive to another physical drive. Every time your system needs to read or write to the page file, it can’t access your applications since it can only access one thing at a time.  Keep in mind that it has to be a separate physical drive; moving it to a partition on your system drive doesn’t do any good as it is still one physical drive and the laws of physics say the read/write heads cannot be in more than one place at the same time.

4. So you’ve got a nice, new, shiny, roomy disk drive in your ‘puter….  You can certainly save a lot of files on there, but keep in mind that the rule of thumb is to never, ever, EVER load up a disk drive beyond 75% of capacity. Not only does filling up the drive slow down accessing files, you’re risking  a system crash if your system drive gets filled up.

Eat Me!5. If you know your way around a PC, run MSCONFIG.EXE and click on the “Startup” tab. Here, you can look through all of the applications that run each and every time you start up your computer…  You’ll be amazed at all of the stuff being loaded into and remaining in memory…  Remember that software you once or twice and then uninstalled? Bet you didn’t know that there is a good chance the packages auto updater is being loaded on boot up even though the application it is supposed to updated isn’t even installed on the machine!

That’s it for now! It’s a beautiful day, so I think I’ll go out on my private little balcony and work on getting rid of my tan lines…  (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!)

Till next time, love ya!

Poppy xxxxx

Best Thing Since Sliced Bread!


Sliced bread - 83 years old todayGood morning all! A Very Happy Anniversary to one of the greatest developments of the 20th century! 83 years ago today, the Chillicothe Baking Company introduced sliced bread… At the time, the media almost universally criticized the concept as the ruin of civilization. The London Times said “Before long bakers will probably butter the bread themselves and spread jam on it at need. For very tired customers they may even cut the bread into finger shapes.

Ummm, so what? Before you know, there will be shops that sell already brewed coffee! Horrors!

Excuse me. I have to go toast some pre-sliced bread and figure out how to smear butter and jam on it all by myself!

Love ya!

Poppy xxxxxx

How To Impress A Geek Girl


Pink PantiesGeek girls, as a group are almost universally misunderstood. I’m a woman, a person and a geek. All those things define me, but they sure as hell don’t limit me. So many guys meet a lady who happens to be a geek and go spazoid because they have no idea how to interact with her. Well, let me clue you in: treat her much like any other woman you want to get to know. Here are some basic rules that may be of help:

I Love Nerds1. Be Yourself. Don’t think for a second that you need to pretend to be a geek in order to impress a geek. First of all, you won’t be able to pull it off, no more than a lawyer can pretend to be a heart surgeon. We love our geekiness, but we’re interested in other things too! I like movies, good food, a nice wine, shopping, sports, reading, sex, a night on the town…. And not necessarily in that order! (wink, wink)…

2. How about a movie night where you each pick a film you like and you watch both of them while sharing some favourite snacks and a bottle of wine? And I mean watch them! Watching a person’s favourite film can tell you a lot about a person.

Nudity is Fun!3. Little meaningful gifts are a sure way to impress. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant but it HAS to be thoughtful. A Bojoran earring, a mouse pad with your picture on it, scented candles, a jar of Marmite (Google it!) and so on.

4. Going out on a date? You may want to check with her friends to see what she likes to do. If that isn’t a possibility, here’s an idea. She’s a woman. Go out to dinner, go see a movie, go to a club, go to a coffee house, go see a play, but try to take your direction from her. During your conversations before the date, ask her about her favourite foods and places to go… A day at the zoo can be a great first date, but try and make sure first that she enjoys going to the zoo!

Nude Girl Gaming5. Cook her dinner. A guy who can make Thai food is well on his way to being a keeper.

6. We have brains. Being intelligent and attractive are NOT mutually exclusive. Matter of fact, I did modeling work to help pay for grad school. So do not treat us or our opinions as meaningless. Do not belittle us or assume you know more about the subject being discussed than we do.

7. Sex… A touchy subject at best. (No pun intended!) Like any other woman, some geek girls will and some won’t. Personally, I enjoy a good romp in the sack. Or on the kitchen table… But I do like to get to know a guy first, so don’t expect much on a first date. But later dates will probably have a spectacular finish. That being said, take your cues from the lady and don’t assume anything!

8. Call her. She was probably just as nervous as you were on the date and terrified she royally screwed up.

That’s about it! Please let me know what you think…

Love ya!

Poppy xxxxxx

Installing a New Video Card


Video Card
Hi again! Replacing or installing a new video card is not rocket science, but if you don’t know your way around the innards of a PC, you may want to call a friend or relative who has some experience. That will also give you somebody to blame if it all goes horribly wrong!

For those of you who want dual monitors but are unable to do that with because you have a video card with only one connector or you’re using the on-board video connection, the first thing you have to do is figure out what kind of video card you need. This is totally dependent upon your motherboard. Chances are if your motherboard is less than 4 years old, you will have a PCI Express slot for your video card… But check the specifications of your motherboard with the manufacturer to be sure because PCI Express, depending on how old it is, can be a 1x, 8x, 16x, 2.0 or 2.1… Important to note is that a lower number card will fit into and work in a higher number slot, the reverse is NOT the case! So please! Make sure before buying a card that will not work! If you’re going to be connecting two LCD monitors with DVI connectors, make sure you get a video card with two DVI connectors!

One last thing to be concerned with is to be sure your power supply can handle the extra load introduced by the new card. The specifications for the card will tell you the size power supply needed. The higher end your video card, the more balls your power supply is going to need. Some cards require a connection directly from the power supply because the PCI slot cannot deliver the amperage the card needs to operate.

OK. You’re all set to begin. Now that you have the card in your hot little hand, slow down! There are things you must do before starting surgery on your PC. First off, just in case things don’t go quite as planned, make sure you have the driver for your current video setup so you can re-install it. Why? Because the first step of installing a new video card is to uninstall the current video driver.

To uninstall the driver, right click “My Computer” and select “Manage” from the menu. When the MMC opens up, click on “Device Manager”. In the right hand column, expand the line that says “Display Adapter”. Right click the adapter listed and select “Properties” from the menu. Click on the Driver tab in the Properties box and click on the “Uninstall” button near the bottom of the box.

Once the driver is uninstalled, shutdown the computer. When the PC is powered down, disconnect all of the cables except for the power cord from the PC case. Lay the PC down on its side on a firm, flat surface. Remove the screws, if any, and slide the cover off. Static electricity can damage your motherboard and other components in a fraction of a second to the point where you could find yourself in need of a new computer so invest the two bucks in a wrist strap. And then use it before you stick your hand inside the case. Clip it to a metal part of the case and remove the power cord.

If you’re replacing an existing video card, remove the retaining screw or release the plastic catch at the back of the card and gently lift the card from the PC slot. Obviously, if you were using the on-board video connector, you won’t have a card to remove!

Select the correct slot for your new video card and gently press down into the slot. Make sure it is firmly seated because if it isn’t your PC probably will not boot. Put the retaining screw back in place or press the plastic clip back in place. Put the cover back on and secure it.

Reconnect all of the cables you took off to their proper places. The only difference is that you’re going to put the monitor cables on the connectors of the new video card. Put the PC back where it belongs.

Power up and your PC should start in VGA mode. When windows finishes booting up, install the drivers that came with your video card. It is also a good idea to check the card manufacturer website to see if they have a newer driver available.

A good tutorial for configuring dual monitors can be found here on the Microsoft At Home web page.

Love you all!

Poppy xxxxxx

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